My last day of Invisalign

955 Days. That is my official number. That’s twenty-two thousand nine-hundred and twenty hours keeping up with the whole aligner routine.

If I told you my last day of Invisalign came with fanfare, I’d be lying. It’s the day I’ve been anticipating for a very long time and it’s disheartening how underwhelming today’s events were. It’s so unfair because after everything I’ve gone through, don’t you think I deserve an awesome ending?! Balloons… maybe some cake? I treated myself to a fully-loaded frapuccino in self pity and then, in true female fashion, immediately felt guilty halfway through because I’d chosen to skip the gym.

So now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you’ve read some of my past posts, you might already know that when my teeth aren’t restrained, they tend to start rotating back into crooked land, which is why I wanted needed fixed retainers on both the upper and lower. It is also why I had undergone a fiberotomy on the worst ones. I asked my orthodontist today if she ever sees unruly teeth like mine and she assured me that it’s pretty common. Damn overzealous teeth.

I was so excited to go in to get my fixed retainers (some people call them permanent retainers but this is an incorrect term because they technically can be removed… I know firsthand). I was certain that today would mark the day that I’d no longer be a slave to my trays. No more public spit strings, no more rushed coffee, no more denying the sample lady in the deli section. I envisioned strutting out of that office only pausing to jump and kick my heels together. Well that definitely didn’t play out. Seriously, they didn’t even make an effort to say “good luck!” or “thanks for giving us all your time and money!” not even a legit, “Thanks for choosing this practice instead of all the others in the entire Hampton Roads area!”. Nope, none of that. They did keep my baby company though which was nice. To be fair, they’ve always been awesome with her.

So here’s what happened: The lower wire went in great with no problems, but after she cemented and light-cured the wire into the upper arch, she ran into an issue. A big issue. It was absolutely impossible for me to close my teeth together… any of them, save for my front incisors. After much deliberation, she and my orthodontist decided that I’d simply have to make due with a thick Essix retainer. They really did try to fulfill my wishes, though. But so now what? There was a wire heavily glued to the backs of my top four incisors and of course she couldn’t just leave it there. It had to be removed! She pried off the wire and to her surprise, (but not to mine because I tend to have exceptional luck) very little of the glue came along with it. She spent a good portion of the next eternity grinding and drilling away all the leftover gunk. Maybe I’m just a total pansy, but it really sucked. She was on a time crunch (think: I’m her last patient and then it’s lunch time! She seriously told me this which is why I think she was in a hurry.) so the burs were running almost continuously on my incisors creating lots of friction-induced heat spots that the nerves in my teeth just loved! This was also the day she was training a new assistant. Since there was nothing else for the girl to do at the time, she was assigned the job of blowing air on my teeth to counteract the heat. It kinda worked until the veteran assistant changed positions. The new girl seemed lost (hey, we’ve all been there, right?) so instead of stopping the air, she accidentally blew it half on my upper lip, and half up my nose. Screen Shot 2014-10-07 at 11.25.10 PMI had to raise my hand for it all to stop.  The good thing is that the glue was finally removed… but the bad news is that now my teeth in that area are really sensitive to cold liquid (edit: and the enamel is also fucking cracked!).

So now I wait for my retainers.