How some of you got to my blog…

I like how wordpress shares people’s search engine terms with me. It’s one way I know how many of you guys get to my blog. Don’t worry though, it’s 100% anonymous so the poor souls behind these little search “gems” will forever remain a mystery:

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Some are legitimate concerns that I may or may have not covered in my past posts. I’m hoping that by answering these questions (or rather, by posting my thoughts on the topics), I’ll be able to help even more people. And of course, as always, you guys can clearly see that I’m no medical professional. If you’re ever truly concerned about something, just call your provider!

The first one I’d like to address hits close to home. I remember reading it and choking on my drink as a wave of compassion washed over me. They somehow ended up on my page by searching, “super glue to fix hypermobile lip“.

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How sad is it that someone hates their gummy smile enough to want to super glue their lip down! But, I get it. I GET IT! I know exactly what it’s like to be painfully insecure over something most other people never have to worry about or even think about… until they see someone who has this ‘issue’. That’s when some people turn real ugly. For example, I saw this post on the other day. Here is the original picture:

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The vile things people said about this woman’s smile were downright evil. But hey, it’s the internet, right? And to all those fuckheads who cracked ugly jokes- Do you realize that the only way to truly “fix” this is to quite literally saw out an entire block of bone from her skull and then bolt the remainder back together? This is something Invisalign or braces will never be able to correct. Losers.



Moving on! I’ll format this like a Q&A even though a lot of these aren’t even questions. Hell, I’ll even throw in the original spelling and grammar! (Speaking of formatting, wordpress hates me today. For some reason, it won’t allow me to add line breaks between some of the questions. GAH.)

• “is refinement covered in my invisalign cost”  That all depends on the original contract you signed with your provider. Some include it in their quote and some don’t. That is why it is very important to read your paperwork before you sign anything. While you’re at it, double check to see if retainers are covered as well. What kind and how many.

• “official invisalign cleaner” That would be Retainer Brite. I don’t buy this junk because one, it’s overpriced (for what it is) and two, you can’t find it in stores. That means you have to order it online and pay for shipping. Screw that. Until Invisalign changed the material, Polident was awesome. Now I just use water and never let them dry out. Fortunately, I’m able to switch weekly so I don’t have to keep each aligner for long. Once I get my retainers, I’ll be back with the super-cheap denture cleaner.

“how to take off invisalign attachments” and “how to remove invisalign buttons at home”  What the hell?? I’d like to be a fly on the wall for when that goes down! My suggestion? Dremel. Aaaand of course I just had to google this… I wasn’t at all surprised to find that some idiot has already tried this redneck method of dentistry. I won’t post the video because it’ll make you dry heave.
• “who drinks beers with invisaligns?”  I do. I drink beers with invisaligns.
• “invisalign cutting tongue”  Where is it cutting your tongue? Often times, this is an easy fix. Use a new nail file to gently file down any sharp parts. If that doesn’t work, your provider can do the same thing but with their tools. Over all, I’ve learned that even though the inside of my mouth is pretty susceptible to nicks and scratches from these appliances, they do heal really quickly.
• “Is it possible to get all your invisalign trays at once?”  Not that I’m aware of. In fact, I’m almost certain this answer is no. It is super important for your provider to monitor your progress. I’m living proof! I actually asked this question a long time ago when I first learned that I would be moving. I was shot down immediately.
• “what alcohol can I drink with invisalign”  Technically, you’re not supposed to, but what’s the fun in that? During this last refinement, I threw all my cares to the wind about staining my aligners. Purple teeth? Who cares! As it turns out, my favorite wine doesn’t even stain my damn trays!! So all this fricken time, I’ve been allotting “wine drinking hour” where I’d do just that: rush meals earlier in the day so I can enjoy my wine for an hour.
Mommy's juice box.

Mommy’s juice box.

• “i hate invisalign” and “i love invisalign”  All I have to say about that is: me too.

• “how many days does it take invisalign move teeth” and “does your teeth get worse before it gets better with invisalign”  Well maybe. That all depends on your specific case. A lot of times, it takes many months before people can even notice a slight difference. Their molars are being scooted back one by one to create more space for the teeth up front. Remember people, we’re moving bones around here!

• “clincheck for mac”  I had troubles too. I haven’t tried it in a while so maybe things have changed, but the only way I could access my clincheck files (that were sent to me by my orthodontist via email) was to open them in flickr and then export to youtube.

• “triangle gap in front teeth”  Those are unofficially called “black triangles” I explain more about that here. “Loss of gingival papilla (interdental papilla) is very common when teeth are straightened after being crooked and/or overlapping for years thus creating a triangle-shaped gap toward the gum line.  Because of the way teeth are shaped, they’re more likely to only make contact toward the biting surface, but not at the gum line.”

• “invisalign makes teeth yellow” No it doesn’t.

• “teeth feel loose with invisalign”  That’s totally normal. When your teeth are moving, the bone fibers are essentially detatching. They need time to heal into their new position which is why this process is so long.

• “invisalign over 40” and “pros and cons of invisalign for 71 year old”  Do it!


And here are some more of my favorites:
green and bubbles in invisalign
super crooked teeth invisalign
invisalign lumps
i got gum on my invisilign
warning + invisalign
crap dentist
invisalign driving me nuts
invisalign nazi
invisalign bringing down teet
what is the cost for invisalign literally refinements
heavy beer drinkers and invisalign
how to take care of a yellow teeth
tired of wearing invisalign
does invisalign loose teeth
my son gets invisilign yesterday and his upper lip is raw
yellow teethes’
invisalign nazi


5 thoughts on “How some of you got to my blog…

  1. I think I found your blog when I googled “pregnancy and invisalign” and read every post that night. You’re pretty damn funny.

  2. I found the blog searching for “too-perfect teeth.” I’m having extensive work done, and I’m concerned that my dentist’s aesthetic standards are going to result in that over-sized, bionic, unnatural look– Hollywood teeth. Seems to be a new trend in dentistry. I see other people who have had a lot of work done, and they remind me of the dogs in the Dentastix commercials.

  3. I thankfully only had 10 trays (didn’t get refinements yet) and I got them all at once! I went back to my provider every other tray to make sure things were right or to file down a tooth to make room.

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